Today I wrote a poem for my new Mexican friend Juanes.
“Juanes. I was scared you were going to poo in my room, but you didn’t.”
I am of course talking about the bird (who I named Juanes) that flew into my room in Mexico whilst I was feeling a little under the weather. At first I was a little horrified and angry but then I was glad to have company. Juanes I will miss you. Thanks for the company.
If you can spot the bird in this picture, I will follow you on Twitter and retweet your next 10 tweets! If you don’t have Twitter, I will follow you in real life.
Max posing next to what he thinks is a bottle of Old English Malt Liquor for his new Facebook profile photo.
Today I am grateful for apple cider vinegar! My dog Max has had a bright red rash on his stomach for a while – most likely from watching Jersey Shore last weekend. (Apparently you can catch STDs from watching Jersey Shore).
I read online that apple cider vinegar can help certain rashes. And my oh my did it help. I would say that it is about 50% better. And it stops him from wanting to lick the rash too. Too much info? As Ronnie says: I am just being real bro.
Apple cider vinegar = Awesome
Jersey Shore = STDs on dogs through the TV
Today I am grateful for Anthony Robbins! My diet used to consist of white refined carbs, sugar, and coffee during university until I saw Anthony Robbins speak in Vancouver. I always thought it was normal to feel really tierd all the time, but then I heard about balancing your pH and now I feel like a 15 year old in a 19 year old’s body. You basically have to eat as much alkalizing foods as you can as it takes 20 parts alkaline to absorb 1 part acid. Pretty much anything green is alkaline (veggies, greens drinks), as well as certain fruits (really ripe bananas) and some grains. Everything else is generally acid (meat, dairy, white refined grains, sugar, smoking, alcohol etc.). Thank you Tony Robbins! I hope I meet you one day.
Check out Tony’s explanation of why you need an alkaline blood pH here:
My friend Adina told me about a fruit energy diet where in summary you eat a shit load of fruit all day until you want to eat your first meal. (She put it a little more eloquently). I don’t do this to lose weight (although I do) but to get super powers and feel invincible. A staple of this diet is about 4 bananas a day.
In summary, I have never felt more energy in my life and I am also full till about 3pm. Adina I salute you.
Here is my 3 banana, 1 apple, kale, carrot smoothie in a beer glass because l am bad ass…
Bachata music makes me really happy. Check out these amazing free mixes on Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/djtiguere
Today I am thankful for The Situation. Thank you for your hair cuts and hair gel. I hope one day I will have a star shaved on the side of my head like you.
According to my research to be a good dog owner you should exercise your dog physically and mentally. Although I do regularly try to talk to Max about the meaning of life and why we are here, he seems to want more. I therefore tried to teach Max to shut a door. He learned this right away but he now won’t go near a door if I am there because he is scared of the sound = fail.
I therefore decided to play cups with Max like people do in the ghetto for money. But instead of money we used dog treats.
Max has learned to hit the cup with the treat in it. I have learnt that I have too much time on my hands.
Tomorrow I will teach Max to drive.
Three cups, one treat. Which should I go for?
Maybe if I bend down and act like I have no body my owner will stop playing this game…
Max mentally exhausted. Aisha also lying down on the ground mentally exhausted.
I watched Jermaine Dupri DJ in Vancouver yesterday. I saw a girl go up to the booth and give him a high five. It seemed easy enough so I thought I should follow suit. I was scared but I crept up to the DJ booth in slow motion (like a young lioness hunting her prey in the Serengeti). I waited for the perfect time and raised my hand up high and smiled ecstatically to show Jermaine Dupri I am non threatening. He did not see and I was left hanging with his entourage in the background looking at me. I quickly put my hand down as if nothing had happened. I was considering whether to duck down to the ground and crawl away, but then he looked up, smiled and gave me a high five. Jermaine Dupri – I thank you for reciprocating and maintaining my faith in life. You are a good man. Thank you for playing TI – Ball.
Today I am grateful for my friend Susanne (who is the best personal shopper in the world) telling me about the website ASOS. I found this sweet purple biker jacket on it and they have FREE DELIVERY!!!