I just wanted to clear up any rumours on behalf of Max. He hasn’t been put on house arrest for showing his ta tas or hoo ha in public (like Britney) nor had he shown up drunk to puppy daycare (like Britney). The thing on his neck is infact a barking collar.
Since I met a lady at the park who told me I had to be alpha dog to stop Max barking at big dogs, I took steps to alter his behaviour. I thought I had hit the jackpot when Max sat before eating, walked behind me, and listened to me. This is until we reached the outdoors where he went buckwild. Not only did he continue to bark at dogs, he started chasing HUGE dogs whilst screaming like a little girl who had been kicked out of a Justin Bieber concert for smoking. He also started running away from me which he never does. I then realized I had been the victim of a vicious game.
But as Mama ain’t no fool, I decided to pull out the big guns and bought a barking collar. The collar sprays a harmless stream of citronella at Max everytime he barks. It has gone off twice, and both times he looked at me like “Aisha wtf was that? Did that happen to you too?” and walks off into the bushes as if to alert the park elders about this unexplainable park phenomenon.
I thank Celeste and Evan for teaching me about the barking collar and about life.