Today I am grateful for my 3/4 length waterproof, hooded, down, indestructible Columbia jacket. It has protected me from the following events:
1) Ice Cream: The day after I bought my jacket I skipped with glee to the nearest coffee shop to show my friends my new jacket. (When I say skipped, I mean walked). After being at the coffee shop for an hour I noticed I had sat on a chair with mint chocolate chip ice cream on it. I looked at the ice cream and noticed it was also all the way down my coat and hand bag. I wondered how it was possible ice cream could have dropped from the ceiling of the coffee shop and was excited that this may be a new phenomenon in Vancouver coffee shops. While I was reaching for the closest ice cream bowl to catch the ice cream from the magic ice cream maker in the ceiling my friend whispered to me that it was not infact ice cream, but bird droppings. I then realized I had been pooed on from my one minute walk to the coffee shop from my apartment. However astoundingly my coat protected me from getting any on myself. Unfortunately the coat, chair, chair cushion, ground and my hand bag weren’t as lucky.
2) Gum: Whilst I was at a dub step concert I found a huge piece of gum in my hood the next day. You may ask why wear a Columbia down jacket to a dub step concert. The answer is because otherwise you will get gum in your hair.
3) Mud: Whilst falling backwards down a hill in a dog park, my jacket protected me from getting mud on any of my clothing.
You may think I am unlucky with all these incidents happening within a week of buying my jacket. However I feel I am very lucky, and perhaps should test out Columbia coats as a profession. Columbia I salute you. Thank you for everything.